On every quest for purity you will have successes and failures. Hopefully your successes will far outweigh your failures and as you proceed you’ll learn to avoid the path of failure at all costs. So, in what areas have I found success? Well, I am in my late 30’s and there are several things I’ve successfully managed to avoid by the grace of God:
I’ve Never Smoked a Cigarette
The list of negative consequences from smoking cigarettes is ridiculously long and are well known so I won’t list them. The bottom line is the only thing you should be addicted to is God. Anything that slowly kills you is not anything to be addicted to. On top of this, my grandma died from cancer as a result of smoking. I still feel the pain from that although she passed away when I was very young. She was the best and I wish I had more time with her. Smoking is unhealthy and gives the devil plenty of room to wreak havoc in your life. If you struggle in this area I would recommend taking that control back and allow God to bless you with good health again.
I’ve Never Done Drugs
I’ve never been tempted to smoke weed or do any kind of drug. The concept never made sense to me: if you know something is addictive and you know it ruins the lives and health of those who use it, why try it out? Aside from the fact it’s illegal and you can wind up in jail, you can also bind yourself and may never be freed from that bondage! Nothing positive can come from doing drugs so I never even considered using them.
I’ve Never Watched a Porno
The opportunities were there, but I decided against it mainly because it wouldn’t make sense for me to watch all of the things that I’m fighting to keep from doing. That would only make my struggle worse. Having had experiences in other areas of pornography I was already aware of the negative affects that I had to overcome. Although there’s certainly a level of curiosity, and although my flesh would love to watch a porno, that is contrary to everything I stand for, and I am not willing to offend God to please my sinful nature.
I’ve Never Gone to a Strip Club or Party with Strippers
I’ve never been tempted to go to a strip club for the reason mentioned above. A few years ago several friends of mine were all going to a strip club for a birthday celebration and I was the only one who refused to go. They tried to change my mind for over a half an hour, but I refused. Not only did I survive and was able to keep my mind and body pure as a result, I found out later that they had a terrible time! Oh well…
I’ve Never Masturbated
This is a shock to most people. Just about everyone who’s found out that I’m still a virgin immediately said something like “oh so you must have plenty of one on one time then…” When I tell them I don’t and never have, the response is one of utter shock, disbelief, or a combination of both. I don’t care who believes what. I do care that I honor God with my body and exercise self-control as it says in Scripture:
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.
1 Thessalonians 3-5
And by His grace I have been able to do just that. This is another example of something that is difficult to stop once you start practicing it. So why would I start and give myself yet another obstacle to overcome?
I’ve Never Ventured Below the Belt Line
Although I have engaged in some pretty intense physical activity with females in my past I have never engaged in sexual activity. What I mean by that is I have never had any direct contact with a female’s genital area with the purpose of sexually arousing her. I learned from my mistake of having loose boundaries above the belt line and as a result now I don’t have any intimate contact with females at all. It’s too frustrating because it’s never enough. Engaging in this type of activity just tempts those involved to go to the next level, and the next level until they are finally having sex. It makes absolutely no sense to dance around the pit you’re trying to keep from falling in.
I’ve Never Allowed anyone to Venture Below MY Belt Line
I have had plenty of offers from ladies to cross this boundary but I declined every time and reiterated those activities are strictly off limits. Although declining was easy, compliance wasn’t always so easy. On one occasion in particular, I was staying with a friend who left me alone with an inebriated young lady. She was absolutely intent on doing at least SOMETHING sexual with me before the night was over and fought vigorously to make it happen. She wouldn’t listen to a word I said, and I actually wound up having to physically restrain her. That’s how serious and dedicated I’ve been in maintaining my sexual purity.
I’ve Never Had Premarital Sex
For years I have had offers to break my vow to remain abstinent – even from girls I’ve never met before! I also heard some confess that they would love to say that they were the one who finally took my virginity. One girl actually told me, “You are a conquest to overcome.” Another told me that she was very patient and essentially would invest as much time as it took until I gave in. These comments just reaffirmed my position – people don’t chase after something that has no value; they chase after things of great value. And my dad always says, “Your virginity is a priceless gift that should only be given to the one you marry. No one else deserves it.”
Abstinence until marriage is unpopular these days. Premarital sex rarely has anything to do with love but has everything to do with self gratification, which is NOT what God designed sex for. So I’m waiting until marriage to have sex because aside from all the negative physical consequences that come from premarital sex, I am even more concerned about the Spiritual consequences. I am so dedicated to purity that even if I never get married I will remain celibate until death or the return of Christ – whichever comes first. I am first and foremost a Christian, and the Bible (God’s Word) clearly illustrates how to live in order to please Him. That is my goal – to please God in every area of my life. One of the many positive consequences of this decision is that I’m worry free: I don’t have to worry if I accidentally got someone pregnant, or if I contracted some illness or fatal disease. I am carefree in this area. If I ever have sex it will be done the way God intended for it to be done: on my wedding night with my wife.